If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family
Stop reblogging my failure
I like how on Tumblr we all have lots of sass but in real life we can’t say hi without fucking up.
when the doorbell rings and i know it’s the pizza guy
I really love villains
not in a ‘poor baby is so misunderstood’ way
in a ‘your amorality is so fascinating and delicious’ way
Can u believe there are plants that are illegal
Can you believe there is love that is illegal
I LOVE LEARNING BAD THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE I DON’T LIKE
there could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea
It’s amazing how fast your mood can change after you step in some water with socks on.
Yet another great twitter convo